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Please see below for some questions that are most commonly asked. If you have any other questions, please feel free to contact our office.

If you would like to make an appointment with our counselors, please call our office at 321.277.5925 or fill out our online contact form.

Questions:

How can I be a better mother (father, grandparent, aunt)?

Something horrible happened to me…. Is there anything that can be done to help me cope with these memories?

We have an unhappy family, we fuss all the time and no one gets along.  I’m beginning to be afraid of my partner or my own anger seems to be getting worse.  What can I do?

I can’t seem to get along with my own parents and it makes me sad and angry.  What can I do?

I’m not in a relationship now.  I lost my partner due to…. divorce, death, disagreement….and I don’t know how to start over; sometimes I wonder why bother?  What can I do?

 

Answers:

How can I be a better mother (father, grandparent, aunt)?

Read, watch, talk, and listen.

Make it a priority to talk to other parents, even the ones who seem to be “doing it wrong”. All parents and grandparents are your teachers and they have made mistakes and had successes. Ask them to share.

Remember, no parent “wants” to hurt his or her child. Each of us does the best we can with the knowledge, experience and energy we have while raising our kids.

A great way to share with other women is to contact
motherscenter.org. this organization has been in the parent education business for 30 years and they are a great resource.

The very best thing you can do for your child is to learn about yourself, your family of origin and your partner’s family. Explore your beliefs, values, hopes and dreams; these ideas direct your life, so it is a good idea to become aware of them.

http:www.mortherscenter.org

Take time to consider who you are and how you have changed since you became a parent. What are you afraid of, how does that impact you’re your choices? What would you like to change?

Learn the Basics

Place
Nurturance
Support
Protection
Limits

http://www.pbsp.com/

Understand the power of gender.  Yes, we are all equal, however research support (finally) that gender differences should be honored and understood in order to facilitate learning.  Boys are different from girls and we can use that knowledge to offer them the best environment for growth.

Remember your child watches your actions – even from infancy.  Your words sound like Charlie Brown’s “wah wah wah” teacher if don’t match your actions. 

Love yourself and be aware that fear is a powerful teacher but not an effective one.  Children who are afraid don’t have access to their “whole brain”.  Survival mode limits learning and biology counts!

http://www.consciousdiscipline.com/

Trust yourself, but ask for help.

 

Something horrible happened to me…. Is there anything that can be done to help me cope with these memories?

Yes!
EMDR, Eye Movement, Desensitization and reprocessing works!

This technique helps people with trauma (rape, physical abuse, witnessing violence or tragedy) as well as small “traumas” (abandonment, loss and grief, fears, or worry).

And it does not take years to accomplish this work.

An extensive history in individual sessions is taken over several weeks; a “safe place” is constructed and practiced by the client. After the client is able to use this newly acquired skill we are able to move into the exploration of negative memories and cognitions.

The client is always in control of the pace of this treatment as well as the content of the memories that are explored. That means you can stop the process at any point if you feel unsafe. At that point we return to the practice of “safe place” until the skill is mastered.

Longer (90 minute) individual sessions are scheduled for the actual bilateral stimulations work.

We have an unhappy family, we fuss all the time and no one gets along.  I’m beginning to be afraid of my partner or my own anger seems to be getting worse.  What can I do?

There are a number of ways to decrease tension and anger in a family.  Some are very practical and are simply a matter of learning some new tools.  Knowing yourself makes the use of these tools possible. 

http://www.ncadv.org/

Safety is of primary importance in these situations. Finances and relationship issues can overwhelm parents; the atmosphere in the family impacts children even if there is no physical violence.

Marriage and family seem especially difficult today as many of us we have lost access to extended family. In addition parents seem to be working so hard to make a living that they have no time to nurture themselves or each other.

 Symptoms of unhappiness often manifest in the areas of sexuality and finances in families. Fear and misunderstandings can make it almost impossible to communicate and work together; this is where couples therapy can be helpful. Individual sessions may be necessary to gain understanding and support the work done as a couple.

 

I can’t seem to get along with my own parents and it makes me sad and angry.  What can I do?


Just as children have stages of development, so do adults.  We never stop growing and changing.  It is important to understand what state of development you are in as well as your parents. 

In fact we need to be aware of the way our own parents grew up and what basic needs they may have missed.  Often, using PBSP structures in therapy allows the healing of intergenerational relationships.  At the least, it can help us see our parents (and ourselves) with more compassion. 

 

I’m not in a relationship now.  I lost my partner due to…. divorce, death, disagreement….and I don’t know how to start over; sometimes I wonder why bother?  What can I do?

Once again, self knowledge, understanding, and compassion for yourself and others will put you on the path to the life you wish to live. 

Psychotherapy can be very helpful in this situation but this can take some time and patience. Cognitive behavioral therapy can help you understand any errors you might have made in the relationship and allow you to change your thoughts and behaviors in the future. 

Relationships are great opportunities to learn about ourselves and therapy can be a safe place to explore those lessons.

   

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